Thursday, February 11, 2010

Maple Brown Sugar meets Crap.

Let's get one thing straight.

My life is not a relentless stream of episodes of charming baby doll play, patient games of Candy Land in a room filled with streams of warm sun, cozy cuddles with my small blond steed and sticky sweet longings to be an even better mother. Oh please.

Don't get me wrong, gosh, these moments exist, often even. But I also have days where I walk around my house thinking... I can't do this... and feeling demotivated with no initiative and desperate pleas of Oh heaven, I'm begging you to send some angels my way to be her panel for the next 5 hours until bedtime because I cannot answer one. more. question.

I hate writing this. I fear you don't know my heart fully enough and the degree of gut-wrenching love I have for my children, my love for motherhood. The truth is, I often feel lost, bleary, uninspired and otherwise distracted from the good life. That's the truth.

But alas I intentionally spill my can of crap to show that my life in indeed not always smothered in maple brown sugar and hopes of an even brighter day. It's sometimes something far uglier.

So there you have it. What you will find here is the depth of my heart, all of it, errrr, most of it. But hopefully it will be a candid, veracious balance of real life. Living day by day and not loving every minute. Just most. :)


  1. Here's what I know. You are a ray of sunshine in a world that can be very, very dark. You are a blessing to those around you and are missed by those you left behind in Virginia.

    Your heartfelt candor is always welcome. Some of us spend too much time wallowing in the crap - don't go there for long - your positive, energetic approach to live is something to cherish.


  2. You are an amazing mother! No "ifs," "ands," or "buts" about it!
    Love you and your transparent heart!

  3. Sounds perfectly, completely normal to me. It almost seems like motherhood is the ability to holds extremes in your heart all at once.

  4. I all have to say is phew...I am not alone. Sometimes it takes candor from someone else to make us feel less alone in our own moments of despair. This being a mommy is tough stuff. And sometimes I find myself praying for nap time. I love my son more than I can even express but I am only human. Thanks for making me feel less guilty and more normal than I have felt in long time. You rock buddy.
    Ruth Ann